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-Jack Handy

"If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic."

Thursday, September 18, 2008

PINK PARTY PICNIC in the PARK

A 5-month old baby has a lot of firsts, and so it was with Keira's first picnic. To the noticing eye, all 3 of us happened to be draped in pink that day. Normal for Keira... semi-normal for Steph... not so normal for Morgan. Needless to say, Morgan occassionally dares to be hip with his trendy pink shirt, but hesitates to overdo it. For example, on the airplane coming home from Utah last July, he was wearing the pink shirt with some classy pink and cream plaid shorts. But it just so happens that he had ruined his cell phone during the trip and needed to borrow Steph's pink one. On top of that we had brought several suitcases with us from Missouri (only 1 of them pink), but when it was time for me to leave a week before Steph and the baby did, I had to take the pink one home for space requirements. That's right: pink shirt, pink shorts, pink phone, pink bag. One kid with a not so subtle voice said to his father in passing, " I think he's gay daddy."

Diving into the grapes here. I don't blame her. Formula and rice cereal... I've tried them both and am no fan. Time for some real food baby! I randomly came upon this park one day, and after getting off work early for a change, we did the whole picnic thing on a beautiful September evening



Thursday, August 14, 2008

Trip Back to Beehive State

Mo and Steph with brother Jake (just off mission) and girlfriend Natalie at Texas Roadhouse Grill

Mommy with the Keirster before blessing

Cousins Keira and Lexi talk logistics before their big blessing day. Big, flowing gowns marked the occasion

Aunt Rachel wishes Keira was her own child

Elena and Ashlyn hold new cousin Keira

4 different generations represented in this picture. And rumor has it, that everyone is hoping to do a 5 generational picture in 19 years

Breathtakingly beautiful Aspen Grove, past Sundance in the Timp Mountains. The Vance family all attended a reunion there at a family camp

Funny look'n and one of the wittiest kids in the western hemisphere, Eastin defines the message written on his shirt. "Rules Don't Apply to Me"

Keira gets chill as she cruises in her ride. The Aspen Grove Mascot

Morgan with a kid I delicately nicknamed 90210. This is my cousin Taylor from British Columbia. He's got a clean look and a suave step. I mentored him all week at camp

Morgan wishing someone would play with him in the pool

Justin, Eridee and Chelsie, who worked up there in the kitchen

Our angelic baby (except when she's sick, hungry, poopy, bored, tired, wet or with her daddy) sleeping in her swim suit at Aspen's pool

The Dalster-rama Dalster-liscious (aka Dallin) gets jiggy wit it in the pool

Hannah (Best Hellen Keller to ever hit the stage) puts Keira to sleep

Steph throws an ax into a tree stump at Aspen's Frontier Days. Everyone watching took neccessary precautions to avoid an early death by keeping their distance

Cousin Olivia (age 4) falls in love with Keira

The mountains were full of these obese squirrels. Morgan wanted to eat one, but the camp staff said that wasn't a request they had ever recieved before, so they weren't exactly sure how to respond

Grandpa, Grandma relax Aspen style with Keirzy while her Dad is on the basketball courts taking some punk kids to school with fancy moves only seen on Sports Center's Top 10 Plays

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

BATH TIME IS GOOD TIME


SHAKE RATTLE AND ROLL





























Saturday, July 5, 2008

MUSIC WHEEL WONDER




Saturday, June 28, 2008

ALL TOO FREQUENT ROUTINE

Somebody better perk up and pay attention to me, cause I really feel something coming on here.Alright, suit yourself, but it's only a matter of time before I cough up a ball of really nasty goop.




I told you so.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Toughest Sheriff In Town

My cousin Lisa sent me this true and Laugh Out Loud piece about a real life warden from Arizona who actually had the guts to go against the grain and run a prison as it oughta be run. It was a refreshing read, if nothing else.

FOR THOSE OF YOU NOT FAMILIAR WITH JOE ARPAIO, HE IS THE MARICOPA COUNTY SHERIFF (ARIZONA) AND HE KEEPS GETTING ELECTED OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

These are some of the reasons why: Arpaio created the 'tent city jail' to save Arizona from spending tens of millions of dollars on another expensive prison complex. He has jail meals down to 20 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them. He banned smoking and pornographic magazines in the jails, and took away their weightlifting equipment and cut off all but 'G' movies. He says: 'They're in jail to pay a debt to society, not to build muscles so they can assault innocent people when they leave.'

He started chain gangs to use the inmates to do free work on county and city projects and save taxpayer's money. Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn't get sued for discrimination. He took away cable TV until he found out there was a federal court order that required cable TV for jails, so he hooked up the cable TV again but only allows the Disney Channel and the Weather Channel. When asked why the Weather Channel, he replied: 'So these morons will know how hot it's gonna be while they are working on my chain gangs.' He cut off coffee because it has zero nutritional value and is therefore a waste of taxpayer money. When the inmates complained, he told them, 'This isn't the Ritz/Carlton. If you don't like it, don't come back.' He also bought the Newt Gingrich lecture series on US history that he pipes into the jails. When asked by a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat, he replied 'that a democratic lecture series that actually tells the truth for a change would be welcome and that it might even explain why 95% of the inmates were in his jails in the first place.' With temperatures being even hotter than usual in Phoenix (116 degrees just set a new record for June 2nd 2007), the Associated Press reported: About 2,000 inmates living in a barbed wire surrounded tent encampment at the Maricopa County Jail have been given permission to strip down to their government-issued pink boxer shorts. On the Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing pink boxer shorts were overheard chatting in the tents, where temperatures reached 128 degrees. 'This is hell. It feels like we live in a furnace,' said Ernesto Gonzales, an inmate for 2 years with 10 more to go. 'It's inhumane.' Joe Arpaio, who makes his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic.

'Criminals should be punished for their crimes - not live in luxury until it's time for parole, only to go out and commit more crimes so they can come back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things many taxpayers can't afford to have for themselves.' The same day he told all the inmates who were complaining of the heat in the tents: 'It's between 120 to 130 degrees in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents too, and they have to walk all day in the sun wearing full battle gear and get shot at, and they have not committed any crimes, so shut your damned mouths!'

Word is, he was a Mitt Romney supporter for president